So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
