That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
