I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
