So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize