I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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