let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
