it wasn't lemon gatorade
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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