He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
