It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
