fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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