I'm lost and stupid without you.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
