hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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