Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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