playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my shit smells like andre
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
