I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
