My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
