Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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