Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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