So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
