I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize