was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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