just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
