The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
