fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
