How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
