Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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