gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize