If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
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