girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
