I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
