I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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