official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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