what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
