dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
