You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize