She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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