My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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