Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
