So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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