Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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