just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize