I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
