I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
