do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize