Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
