So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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