my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
