oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Too much gin, very little bucket
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
