We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize