honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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