He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
