her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
