Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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