I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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