Nicole vs. Life
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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