it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
