Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
