you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
