you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My vagina just recognized that song.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
