Cold hands, warm shart.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize