The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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