just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
