Soap is not a condiment
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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