Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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