I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize