i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
