I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
