You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
