Small penises have feelings too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
