I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
