Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
