he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
