Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
