That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
